Why do we so dearly hold on to what’s no longer serving us? Deep down, we know we have reached dead end yet we hold tight. Why?
Apparently, holding on is much more easier than letting go—just as forming an habit is easier than breaking the habit. As humans, we tend to lean towards what’s more convenient and efficient. As a result, we unconsciously and consciously hold to relationships, locations, habits, people, and things that objectively does more harm than good.
Do you find yourself in a toxic relationship? Engaging in bad habits? Stuck in hurtful environment? It’s time to unleash the rope that has long tied you down to them. Now, you may think “yeah right. it’s easier said than done.” I agree, wholeheartedly. Neither the relationships nor the habits were formed overnight, so logically speaking, expect it to also take more than overnight to unlearn.
Practical Steps To Detach Yourself:
- Acceptance: you have to mentally accept that the situation or habit is a detriment. There ought to be a mental acknowledgment of why you desire to remove yourself from the situation or stop the habit. Your mind and emotions have to align and be in agreement that it’s time to move on and make a change. Literally, sit yourself down and acknowledge it e.g: “comparing myself with others make me more sad and anxious. I no longer want to feel sad and anxious.”
- Action: take action and set boundaries. Respect the boundaries you make and keep the promises you make to yourself. Ask yourself —what little steps and changes can I make right now that will improve the situation. Back to the previously stated example— possible actions to take are: delete Instagram, take a social media break, limit social media use, practice using words of affirmation, journaling, complimenting yourself more, creating a list of gratitude, & etc. Comparison often happens when we see what others are posting. So, cutting out the source will significantly decrease the urge to compare. Taking actions specific to the problem address its root.
- Accountability: hold yourself accountable. There are many ways to ensure you’re accountable and enforce accountability. If you’re trying to break an habit or stay away from someone, there are apps that keeps a daily streak for you. You can also set daily reminders to help you remember. Make note of your triggers and avoid them. You can also ask your partner or trusted loved ones to hold you accountable. Writing and journaling is also another way to maintain accountability. Whatever it is you’re trying to break free from—be it a person, a relationship, or an habit— without accountability, it’s easier to relapse and pile on the excuses.
Now, it is possible that you have done all this and failed —and that’s okay. I hope you find the courage to try again and start over. As you start or re-start your journey, know that I am rooting for you and wish you greater strength to overcome the temptation to relapse when it sneaks in. You can do this. I believe in you.