When is enough enough?

Have you ever encountered that one friend that daily kept on pouring and pouring and pouring and pouring and pouring so much heavy, deep, dark, and reoccurring events about their life struggles on you that you eventually became overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted? How did you deal with it? Did you confront them about it? Ran away from them? Or simply kept on taking it all in?

In this day and age where depression is rampant, it is usually encouraged to be a listening ear to friends and loved ones that table their troubles before thee. I agree, absolutely, that it’s imperative that we be there for loved ones in their time of needs. But, hear me out, what happens when this said individual constantly spew at you the same complaint over and over and over again with no desire of engineering a plan to alleviate the condition?

A friend of mine came to me asking: her classmate will not stop talking about the same problem over and over again. Even after offering ways and ideas to combat the situation it was all to no avail. It has gotten so worse, she suggested a therapist since there’s only so much her limited knowledge about counseling could solve. My friend confess to being emotionally exhausted and lacking focus to study. At the same time, she doesn’t know how to disengage without her classmate feeling abandoned.

How do you draw boundaries with loved ones when they’ve designated you as the sole person to constantly vent to? How do you protect yourself from subconsciously taking in all that’s been thrown at you?

When is enough enough?

What would you do? Please do share with me. I look forward to your responses.

#theSunshinethagain

21 responses to “When is enough enough?”

  1. In case it’s a family member, offer all the support you can and if you feel professional help is required then suggest that, though most people shy away from that step. If it’s a friend and you feel that the problem is a severe one, try to get them to visit a professional.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You’re right—some often steer clear from professional help for various reasons best know to them. Great advice Sadje. Thank you for your input!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Sunshine, it’s such a delicate balance when friends are going through tough times. I agree with your friend to suggest & encourge seeing a counselor. As a university student when I went thru a rough patch a friend suggested checking out a Student Health counselor. I did – & it helped. Blessings & blogging hugs! 🌟🌷🌟🤗🌟🌷

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Truly! Well said Virginia. Having a professional well versed in counseling can be of great help. Thank you for sharing your insights and experience. Blessings to you. 💝🌸

      Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s a tough one! On one hand you want to share their burdens but on the other hand if they are not trying to change the situation then what more is there to do? … I would never turn my back but I would probably try to get some intervention, someone qualified to help or other support…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Absolutely! A tough one indeed. I agree with your sentiments about getting someone qualified. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hmm, I agree with all the prior suggestions. But in addition to all that, I think prayer is primary too. Maybe your friend could pray for and with the classmate? The thing about burdens is that, sooner or later, they have to be let go of; and the best place to do that if you’re a believer is at the feet of Christ. I don’t think it is healthy for anyone to carry the burdens of others in the name of sharing, though I have to admit that there’s a very real tendency to do so. Do stay blessed.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You’re right! I appreciate your perspective. I subscribe to your line of thought about praying + laying down all our burdens because He cares for us. Couldn’t have been said any better! Thank you for sharing your suggestions. Be blessed!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s a difficult situation when you are offering a help but they don’t want to help themselves in any way.. they are not ready to listen with an open mind.. that makes you completely drained! I agree with your friend’s suggestion might be counselor can help her classmate!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Right, that’s the challenging part. Thank you for your input!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Always my pleasure 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Support is what everyone needs, if they continously talk about it like there is a friend of mine who does the same I try that she takes all the fristration at once, then I make her calm and then I say to get over it, its a small problem not a big deal, it was a small part of your life it will always be this small and get away very soon, so don’t be upset, because its your life and you should be happy rather than wasting it in small problems. This will make her stop talking about it and we both will get relaxed..well, fabulous post

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is an interesting suggestion! We all certainly do need support.
      Will relay it back to my friend. Thank you for your input. It is nice reading what works for you and your friend.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. oh! Thank you..anytime! np!!

        Liked by 1 person

  7. The first time I hear, I listen very patiently even give some suggestions. The following times if I see that the person has no intention of solving the problem but just wants to complain about it, I stop answering and just nod with a smile. I could even say “I think you need that right now, when you’re ready you’ll find a way to get out of it”. It usually stops them from coming with the same thing in and on. Repeat as long as needed, some people are persistent lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol. Very straightforward and direct. Very persistent truly. That’s a different angle to approach it. I appreciate your input. Thank you!

      Like

          1. 🙂 try and let me know how it goes.

            Liked by 1 person

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